A Christmas Caper
Scene 1: Penguin Habitat The screen says '"Christmas Eve 1800 Hours"'' A periscope pops out of a snowman. It shows Three Little Pigs building a tower of cans, but Sandy knocks it over. Next it shows Tom, Robin, Daphne, and Rex turning on Christmas lights on Rex. Next, it shows Mr. Superawesomeness lying down on the ground of his habitat, sad. After that, it shows emperor and elephant with mouse pairs partying, and then returns to Mr. Superawesomeness who sighs sadly. ''Nick Wilde'''' is operating the periscope, Bob Parr/Mr. Incredible is at the center, Shrek is beating down fish, and Po is standing in front of a huge chunk of ice.'' '''Nick: He looks so sad. Mr. Incredible: Po! I want that tree up to muster. Po'' takes two knives and carves a Christmas tree.'' Mr. Incredible: Check. Shrek! What's the status on the approved musical selection? Shrek: Scheduled to begin... now. The radio is turned on and music plays. '' '''Mr. Incredible:' Excellente! Right on track. Nick: Monsieur Incroyable! Mr. Incredible: Making pudding at 1900 hours, yule log to commence on my mark. Engage! Shrek presses a button on a remote and the TV turns on showing a log burning. Shrek: Yule log engage. Mr. Incredible: Checkamundo! Nick: Monsieur Incroyable! Mr. Incredible: (Rico is seen outside swimming) Eggnog at 2100 hours, writing our names in the snow at 2105. Nick: Monsieur Incroyable! Mr. Incredible: What is it, Nick? Nick: Ted the polar bear is alone on this holiday and he seems so sad. Could we bring him a present to cheer him up? Mr. Incredible: Shrek. Shrek':' (making calculations on his abacus) Negative, Mr. Incredible. (shows four moving fish wrapped up) We have four presents and there are four of us. Nick: We can go and get him something. Mr. Incredible: Sorry, Nick, no can do. Nick: But no one should be sad and alone on Christmas. Mr. Incredible: Exactly. So throw those troubles away and be merry, pronto. Nick: But, Monsieur Incroyabl... Mr. Incredible: That's an order, sir. All right boys, stand by for eggnog. Shrek: (pounding the fish with a mallet) Aye aye, Mr. Incredible. Po: EGGNOOOOG!! Eggnog, eggnog, eggnog, eggnog! Mr. Incredible: Nick? Nick: I'll pass, thank you. Nick sad happy walks off, then gets an idea. He gets some money out of his Daphne piggy bank and sneaks to the fish plaque while Bob and Shrek see how much eggnog Po can chug at once. Mr. Incredible and Shrek: Go, go, go, go, go, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! Mr. Incredible: Hold on, Po! That guy can really hold his nog. Nick opens the plaque and slides out. Mr. Incredible: 2110 hours, boys! Engage cranberries! Po is playing the "knife game" at the table. Mr. Incredible: Po! Not at the table. (noticing a problem) Hold on a second, something's missing. Shrek: Cranberries, check! Eggnog, check! Mr. Incredible: Give me a head count. Shrek: (doing calculations on his abacus) We have three heads, sir! Mr. Incredible: WHERE'S NICK? Shrek: I don't know, sir! It appears that he's- (shows the eggnog carton with Nick's face on it) -missing! Mr. Incredible: Missing? Hoover dam! Wait, there he is! He just went to bed! (removes the blanket to find a bowling pin) What the? (starts slapping the bowling pin) What have you done with Nick? Talk mister! Shrek: (noticing the open fish plaque) Skipper, over here. Mr. Incredible: I'll deal with you later. (slaps the bowling pin one last time) Shrek: Oh no, he must be out there all by himself. Mr. Incredible: He's one of us men. You all know the Penguin Credo. Shrek: Never bathe in hot oil and Bisquick? Mr. Incredible: No! Po: (speaks Japanese gibberish) Mr. Incredible: No! That's the Walrus Credo. It's "never swim alone". Nick's out there all by himself, and we never leave one of our own. Po and Shrek: '''Oh, yeah. '''Mr. Incredible: Now let's go! Scene 2: The Street Nick'' is walking down the sidewalk. He sees a possible present for Mr. Superawesomeness.'' Nick: That's perfect! Just the thing for the Sadly Mr. Superawesomeness. Bob, Shrek and Po pop up out of the manhole. Mr. Incredible: Shrek, analysis. Shrek: Adrenaline, sweat and sardines. These tracks are fresh, sir. Mr. Incredible: He's close. I can feel it. The characters peer around the corner of a building. Using a pair of binoculars, they attempt to get a closer look at Nick. Sarah Ravencroft: What kind of cut-rate junk is this? This lousy workmanship. Shrek: We may have a problem. Sarah Ravencroft rips apart a plush toy. Nick attempts to hide. Mr. Incredible: We need to get closer. Ten o'clock men. (characters follow a line of nuns) Blend, blend, blend! The characters are now behind a trash can. They again attempt to get a closer look at Nick. Sarah Ravencroft: Ha! So this is where you're hiding! (she pulls and stretches Nick) Mr. Incredible: He's in trouble! Po: (coughs up a stick of dynamite and begins to light it) Kaboom, hehe. Mr. Incredible: Lay down soldier. We're in observation mode. Sarah Ravencroft: Now this is workmanship. So where's the gosh darn squeaker on this thing? It's gotta have a squeaker. (she squeezes Nick and he farts) Now that's more like it. Hey stupid, I found this one. Mr. Incredible: Grand Coolee Dam! Nick's been kidnapped! Sarah Ravencroft: TAXI! Mr. Incredible: Not on my watch, Blue Hair! Shrek! Shrek grabs a trash can lid. Po swings a rope and hooks it onto the taxi's back bumper. The taxi drags the trash can lid (with the characters) down the street. '' '''Pedestrian': Hey, I'm walkin' here! The taxi stops in front of an apartment building. The characters get off and hide behind a snowman. Sarah Ravencroft: I've got a tip for you- drop dead! (she slams the door and the taxi drives off) Attendant: Good evening ma'am, you have a merry Christmas. Sarah Ravencroft: Buzz off! (she knocks him to the ground) Shrek: Mr. Incredible, how are we going to get inside? Po: (grabs stick of dynamite and lights it) Kaboom, kaboom, ahahaha! Mr. Incredible: (puts out the fuse) I've got a better idea. Scene 3: Sarah Ravencroft's Apartment The characters, disguised as a snowman, walk up to the attendant. They hand him a tip. Attendant: That's gotta hurt. (sees the snowman) Very generous, sir. You have a merry Christmas. Mr. Incredible: Hold that elevator! Nick: Monsieur Incroyable! Mr. Incredible: Nick! Step on it, Shrek! Sarah gets into the elevator. The characters get to it, but too late, and hit the doors. They look around and see a mail duct. Mr. Incredible: What goes down must go up. Shrek: Mr. Incredible. (he has dragged out a shop vac from the closet) Mr. Incredible: Alright men, commence Operation Special Delivery. Shrek plugs in the vac and Po turns it on in reverse. The characters put on postage stamps and hop into the vacuum and ride up the mail duct to the top floor just as Sarah is entering her apartment. Mr. Incredible: Shittake mushrooms! No more Mister Cute and Cuddly. Po: (gets out the stick of dynamite) Kaboom, kaboom, KABOOM! Mr. Incredible: Rico! Enough with the dynamite already! Po: Awww. Sarah Ravencroft: Why does Christmas have to be every year? There we go. Oh you'll make a nice Christmas present for my Mr. Sullivan. Oh, now Mr. Sullivan, you'll have to wait until morning to open your present, yes you do. Who is mommy's big boy, who is he? Mr. Sullivan goes nuts, tearing up an Tom plush toy. As soon as he's done with that, he flies through the air to get to Nick. Nick: Nice doggie, good doggie. Down good boy, down, down, don't eat me, don't eat me ahhh! The characters crash through a window. Mr. Incredible: Santa Claus has come to town! Nick: Oh, Monsieur Incroyable! Mr. Sullivan yanks down the stocking, sending Nick flying. He gets caught on the Christmas tree. Nick: Help me guys! Mr. Incredible: Shrek, secure the Nick! Shrek: I'm on it. Mr. Incredible: Roger pick, canine 2 o' clock! Shrek: I'm going to need some cover fire. Mr. Incredible: Po! Po steps on a candy bowl and swallows the candy. Mr. Incredible uses Po like a gun, shooting out candy at Mr. Sullivan. Mr. Incredible: Shrek, status! Shrek: Almost there, Mr. Incredible. The peppermint gun runs out of ammo. Mr. Sullivan runs back toward Mr. Incredible and Po, who throw themselves on the tree. Mr. Sullivan grabs the lights to try to pull the tree down. Mr. Incredible: Let him have it, Po. (throws ornaments at Mr. Sullivan) Mr. Sullivan lets go of the lights, sending Nick flying into the kitchen. He walks out with a cooked chicken on his head. '' '''Mr. Incredible': Holy butterball! Nick: Ah, guys! Don't eat me! Help! Mr. Incredible: Shrek, give me options! Shrek: (shows his idea) Mr. Incredible! Mr. Incredible: Excellente! Engage Operation Stocking Stuffer! Po slides down the ribbon with a candy cane. He drops to the floor and whistles to get Mr. Sullivan's attention. Mr. Incredible uses the candy cane to hop in the air and slips it under Mr. Sullivan's collar. Mr. Sullivan runs into a ribbon held tight by Po and Shrek. He goes flying, hits the Christmas tree and is catapulted into his stocking. Po hops on his head. Mr. Incredible: High five, low five, down low, too slow! I think our work here is done. Po is about to drop an anvil on Sarah. Mr. Incredible: Po! She didn't see anything. (Po drops the anvil) Let's blow this popsicle stand, boys! Po: Kaboom? Mr. Incredible: Yes Po, kaboom. The door is blown up, and falls down. The characters slide out. Mr. Incredible: C'mon, boys. Sarah Ravencroft: (seeing the mess) Eh! What is all this? Mr. Sullivan, this is all your fault! Bad dog! You are on a big time out! Scene 4: Back at the Penguin Habitat The penguins are walking back to the zoo. 'Nick': Thanks for rescuing me, Monsieur Incroyable. Mr. Incredible: Ain't nothing of it. It's the least we can do. You remember the Penguin Credo? Nick: What does deep frying in Bisquick have to do with any of this? Mr. Incredible: Not that one, the other one! Never swim alone! Alone! On Christmas! Don't you get it? Come on people, do I have to explain this to everybody? Nick: Poor Mr. Superawesomeness, he's all alone on Christmas, with no one to swim with. Mr. Incredible: It's not too late, young Nick. I've got a new plan to figure... The characters and Mr. Superawesomeness are singing along to "Deck the Halls". Mr. Superawesomeness: You guys! Seriously, this is the Christmas I've ever had! Mr. Incredible: Well, there you have it, Merry Christmas for everyone! (the doorbell rings) What the? Who could that be? Mr. Superawesomeness: Oh, I hope you don't mind. I invited a few friends over. Mr. Incredible: WHAT?! Zoo Characters: (singing) Jingle Bells, monkey smells, Rex laid an egg/Robin thinks that Tom stinks/And the camels say "Oy Vey"! Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Episodes